Life is strange.
May. 25th, 2005 09:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
saifaiI find myself wondering sometimes why life deals us the shifts in tide as they do. And yes, I'm feeling a bit contemplative and nostalgic as my PMS swings my mood once again.
There I was at age ten, I knew I wanted to be a Parapsychologist. There was a science fair project involved there somewhere. I'd done studies with my friends, family, and teachers evaluating the effects of random choices versus inherent ability. This lasted well into my high school years. I immersed myself in my studies, hoping to make it into one of the few US universities that offers studies on the subject.
This dedication lasted until about the moment that I discovered my love of all things rebellious.
Don't ask me what happened there. I honestly don't know. I've lost a good portion of my memory there, as I've mentioned once before. I started my junior year and I didn't come out of it aware of my surroundings until I was almost 19. I don't remember much. Mom tells me that they'd set me up for a local college as I'd at some point given up my dreams and settled for just plain old psychology. I was going to attend my first years in the local school here, live in the dorms, etc. Gave it up at some point. Not sure why. Don't really want to know. *shrug*
I worked my way through a stupor. Four years later I stumbled my way back into college. That lasted until my parents finances took a nose dive and I didn't have the funds to support myself otherwise, so I dropped out.
I ended up online, learning how to do things, keeping myself occupied, starting a few websites. Been doing that for several years now actually. Have been gravitating towards graphic design and other media services.
Feel myself taking an exit though. Not sure where to this time. I guess I just find it strange that life throws us these curve balls. Never know where you'll end up, just that sometimes what you want isn't always what is best for you, or what you'll end up with. Not just for lack of trying, but just that life has another path for you. I see this happening not in just careers, but in all things from where we live to the fact that we have yet to have children. You make plans, and then come to find out it's all an unknown anyway.
Does that make sense?
And with that, I'm going to bed. I'm cranky, and overloaded on chocolate, and hot, and crampy, and bleaugh. *hugs* I miss you guys. Will have to catch up with my flist soonish. Five more days of school...
There I was at age ten, I knew I wanted to be a Parapsychologist. There was a science fair project involved there somewhere. I'd done studies with my friends, family, and teachers evaluating the effects of random choices versus inherent ability. This lasted well into my high school years. I immersed myself in my studies, hoping to make it into one of the few US universities that offers studies on the subject.
This dedication lasted until about the moment that I discovered my love of all things rebellious.
Don't ask me what happened there. I honestly don't know. I've lost a good portion of my memory there, as I've mentioned once before. I started my junior year and I didn't come out of it aware of my surroundings until I was almost 19. I don't remember much. Mom tells me that they'd set me up for a local college as I'd at some point given up my dreams and settled for just plain old psychology. I was going to attend my first years in the local school here, live in the dorms, etc. Gave it up at some point. Not sure why. Don't really want to know. *shrug*
I worked my way through a stupor. Four years later I stumbled my way back into college. That lasted until my parents finances took a nose dive and I didn't have the funds to support myself otherwise, so I dropped out.
I ended up online, learning how to do things, keeping myself occupied, starting a few websites. Been doing that for several years now actually. Have been gravitating towards graphic design and other media services.
Feel myself taking an exit though. Not sure where to this time. I guess I just find it strange that life throws us these curve balls. Never know where you'll end up, just that sometimes what you want isn't always what is best for you, or what you'll end up with. Not just for lack of trying, but just that life has another path for you. I see this happening not in just careers, but in all things from where we live to the fact that we have yet to have children. You make plans, and then come to find out it's all an unknown anyway.
Does that make sense?
And with that, I'm going to bed. I'm cranky, and overloaded on chocolate, and hot, and crampy, and bleaugh. *hugs* I miss you guys. Will have to catch up with my flist soonish. Five more days of school...
