A bit of news, Part One

[saifai]

I've got two major updates for y'all, but I'll keep it in two different posts so those that aren't interested can just skip to the next one.

First, a bit of real life depressing news.  The hubby asked to file divorce papers.  I know, big shock and all.  But so far we were only seperated.  Now it's becoming final.

At the moment we're trying to sort out our various bills to decide who pays what.  We don't have much in the way of belongings to sort out, and what we had has already been dealt with.

We're still talking.  Most of the time it's as if nothing has happened.

I know I'm not dealing with it.  I've had dreams where I have wicked arguments with the hubby that should have happened in real life.  In a way I'm thankful I'm having them.  For one, I'm able to deal with in some way the issues I was having with hubby.  It also serves as a way for me to be able to get along with him for a longer period of time.  My patience with him has certainly diminished, but I'm also able to compartmentalize rather well.  Denial is also a wonderful too.

Yes, I'm doing fine.  But I don't think the real healing will happen until after the divorce is final.

For now, I'm just moving along one day at a time.  I'm trying to find myself again.  A friend of mine recc'd me the book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrnes.  I'll read that and see how it goes.  Right now I just need a direction to move in.

Comments

[moss6886.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear from you! Sorry about the impending finality...

Compartmentalization and denial can be valuable coping mechanisms. Sometimes if you can keep just addressing the little things from day to day, even hour to hour, rather than examining the overarching issues, you can get to a point where those issues lose their immediacy and get easier to deal with. A little, at least...

*hugs*

[red-sunflower.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I just hope that you two can get through the whole process without drama and that you'll find the way to heal and move on. ::hugs::

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

I am wishing you peace and happiness...heaven knows you deserve both.

:::hugs you:::


Gabrielle

[kitty-poker1.livejournal.com]

Seriously, denial is a way of dealing until you're ready to look things in their beady little eyes. It's not unhealthy and it's not unnatural. It's a coping mechanism. You're still processing, hence the dreams, and one day soon you'll be able to stand up and say, 'Well, this is the way it is and I'm not about to fold. No way.'

*hugs*

[darkhavens.livejournal.com]

{{{smish}}}

[trekqueen.livejournal.com]

aww *huggles* we're here for you, let us know anytime if you want to chat. :)