...and who are you again?

[saifai]

I don't know about anyone else, but the more stuff that goes on in my life, and the more tired I get (some of having to do with my own ill health), the more likely I am to let my daily mask slip. I don't know if everyone has one, but it's mainly the mask you wear to show everyone that you're just fine. You're happy, they don't really care what else is going in your life kinda of thing. Even for people you love, hubby or parents maybe, you still put up a front around them. Perhaps its a side of you they don't like, or a side you don't want to show them. Either way, there just comes a time when you're just too tired to give a shit anymore. I don't get like that very often, in fact in the past I never let it slip (part of the reason I stopped drinking). But these days, as I get more tired, and more things happen to me in my life, I just can't hold it up any longer.

Honestly though, it kinda scares me. Last time I went through this, I came out of it with nothing.

Comments

[kacky37.livejournal.com]

I know what your feeling. I have multiple sclerosis, outwardly I look fine (most of the time) but in reality I am weak and I tire very easily. I feel like the kids and hubby only care to see if their stuff is taken cared of ,i.e. dinner and clothes and such, often I hear complaining where's my this or that or you didn't do such and such. I have quite a bit felt like giving up.
I really think people just don't like to see a loveone go through anything so they bury it and hope everything's fine.
All-in-all it has made me a more compassionate person and I try to be sensitive to the needs of others. I try to make an effort to listen to people, even their body language.

[lapetiteflower.livejournal.com]

i know what you mean. i myself have a carefully constructed outer persona. it has next to no feelings, it is pleasant and tries to get along with others and fit in with the rest of humanity. but lately with all the stress of being semi-employed, looking for a full time job, money worries etc. i find it is developing cracks and i am likely to start crying over the smallest things. and it is starting to freak people out. lol.......my monster is coming out.

((hugs))