Men translated...

[saifai]

My mom's been reading a lot of stuff like this lately, but this one was particularly funny. I've seen something along these lines before, but these were a bit different. So, here for everyone (all three of you) who read this journal to enjoy.


* "I'm going fishing." really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

* "It's a guy thing." really means... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

* "Can I help with dinner?" really means... "Why isn't it already on the table?"

* "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." really means... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

* "It would take too long to explain." really means... "I have no idea how it works."

* "I'm getting more exercise lately." really means... "The batteries in the remote are dead."

* "We're going to be late." really means... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

* "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." really means... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

* "That's interesting, dear." really means... "Are you still talking?"

* "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." really means... "I forgot our anniversary again."

* "That womens work." really means... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

* "You know how bad my memory is." really means... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

* "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." really means... "I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

* "I do help around the house." really means... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

* "Hey, Ive got my reasons for what I'm doing." really means... "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."

* "I can't find it." really means... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

* "What did I do this time?" really means... "What did you catch me doing?"

* "I heard you." really means... "I havent the foggiest clue what you just said, and I'm hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

* "You look terrific." really means... "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

* "I missed you." really means... "I cant find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

* "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." really means... "I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again."

* "I don't need to read the instructions." really means... "I am perfectly capable of messing up without printed help."