saifai: (TH - Secret Look Twins (unknown))


I feel bad for not updating more, but to be honest it's been more a case of lethargy. I have finally been able to put a name to my condition and that is familial hemiplegic migraines. For me, they tend to manifest as vistibular migraines. But that basically means is I get dizzy and confused quite often. Unfortunately they are completely out of control and I'm getting migraines on a daily basis, which is frightening because a serious condition will see people having them one week. What does that say about me?

 

Rethinking life goals

 

There are a few things I have had to rethink in my life. The most obvious is my ability to work. I don't think I will be able to seriously hold a job outside of the home anymore. Which is a really hard thing to face. But given my job skills I don't have this set required to telecommute at any serious level. Which means, I need to go back to school. I will have to re think my degree and change fields completely.

 

In that I am actually hopeful that I have an idea for my future. It is just going to take a helluva lot of time and effort get there, mostly because I have to come up with a way to pay for my schooling while I'm having trouble being able to do any significant amount of work. But I will find off way before, because I am very determined.

 

That's it for now

 

There is more to this thing called my life, that but that is not enough depression for one day. Maybe I can try to update more than once a year. We will just have to see how that goes, right?

saifai: (Mike A-OK)
Woo, take a deep breath. *flails* I'm downgrading from Paid today. Been YEARS since I've done that.

I've deleted 112 icons.

I've weeded down my subscriptions to 175.

I've deleted 4 of my Scrapbook galleries.

I even switched over my layout to a basic one (customized CSS of course, because I am ME).

I can do this. *deep flailing breath*
saifai: (Mike A-OK)
Woo, take a deep breath. *flails* I'm downgrading from Paid today. Been YEARS since I've done that.

I've deleted 112 icons.

I've weeded down my subscriptions to 175.

I've deleted 4 of my Scrapbook galleries.

I even switched over my layout to a basic one (customized CSS of course, because I am ME).

I can do this. *deep flailing breath*
saifai: (AUGH! (saifai))
*flails and gloms onto LJ*  It only took me two days to find the server to post this...

Allow me to rant for a few, if you will.  Even if you don't.  Feel free to scroll through...

Computer Hell
First up?  The computer is down.  I did a stupid thing and got a virus.  I found the file and even know what it is, but haven't found a way to get rid of it.  It attached itself to some main Windows operating programs and built itself a nest in my System Idle (bringing the grand total up to 80 to 90 percent in that sector).  This means I can't delete it (since it loads with Windows... even in Safe Mode w/ Command Prompt), and I have to reboot my computer frequently (the computer will freeze after so long of being on since it eats up the memory the longer it's running).

I'm working with Spybot to try and find a solution.  If all else fails I may end up re-installing Windows, but I'm trying to avoid that.  I don't have a copy on hand at the moment.  I'll have to beg and plead from the mechanics at work to get me a copy (which means mass amounts of my special recipe chocolate chip cookies... and it's TOO HOT to bake right now).

Computer Hell v2.0, now with spiffyex-Hubby of Doom!
Second up?  A new computer is what I really want.  I even found a cheap HP Wireless laptop on eBay, brand new, for $250 (which is doable if they bought them in a large lot).  However, any money I would have had to put toward it was swindled out of me by the ex-hubby.  All $950 of it (which would have got me a decent custom built system).  Needless to say, I don't have that new computer, though supposedly the ex is supposed to have one built for me and handed over by the end of this month.  (Yeah, I'm holding my breath for that one...)  In the mean time, I've started te saving process over again.

No Computer, No Fun, No Rest
Third, school is almost out for me.  At the end of this week I'll start my new job hunt.  I've still got to work summer school, but I'll be off work by noon, so I'm still good on that front.  I would be working on graphics projects (especially for those I owe layouts and composite images), but without my computer working (and all my Photoshop resources), I'm out of luck for now.  I guess that garden will get weeded after all!

He did what?!
Last, but certainly not least, the ex-hubby neglected to pay some bills that he got custody of via our divorce decree.  I'm being sued by two different companies who want me to pay up.

Anyone want to take bets on whether the ex will pay up on his end?

Yeah, I wouldn't want to take that bet either.

The end is night...
As an addendum to the above entry, I'll give you the lastest of the latest.  School is finally out as of 2:30pm yesterday.  I was dragged to the end of the year company picnic.  I had to actually socialize ::shudders:: with other humans.  The person would not let me leave at the appointed time.  She made me stay because I was "finally loosening up" and "actually cracked a grin" and she was determined to make me enjoy myself one way or another.  *scowls and stomps feet*

Today, I have begged off helping mom work on her "while you've got a few days off before summer school starts why don't we complete the thousand and one things on my to-do list?" list.  I am however going to go and pick up my paycheck, then go directly to the fabric store to pic out something nice for a new Sunday skirt.  I have only the one that still fits *eyes the candy guiltily* and need something else to wear.  Wish me luck.  *eyes the sewing machine dubiously*
saifai: (AUGH! (saifai))
*flails and gloms onto LJ*  It only took me two days to find the server to post this...

Allow me to rant for a few, if you will.  Even if you don't.  Feel free to scroll through...

Computer Hell
First up?  The computer is down.  I did a stupid thing and got a virus.  I found the file and even know what it is, but haven't found a way to get rid of it.  It attached itself to some main Windows operating programs and built itself a nest in my System Idle (bringing the grand total up to 80 to 90 percent in that sector).  This means I can't delete it (since it loads with Windows... even in Safe Mode w/ Command Prompt), and I have to reboot my computer frequently (the computer will freeze after so long of being on since it eats up the memory the longer it's running).

I'm working with Spybot to try and find a solution.  If all else fails I may end up re-installing Windows, but I'm trying to avoid that.  I don't have a copy on hand at the moment.  I'll have to beg and plead from the mechanics at work to get me a copy (which means mass amounts of my special recipe chocolate chip cookies... and it's TOO HOT to bake right now).

Computer Hell v2.0, now with spiffyex-Hubby of Doom!
Second up?  A new computer is what I really want.  I even found a cheap HP Wireless laptop on eBay, brand new, for $250 (which is doable if they bought them in a large lot).  However, any money I would have had to put toward it was swindled out of me by the ex-hubby.  All $950 of it (which would have got me a decent custom built system).  Needless to say, I don't have that new computer, though supposedly the ex is supposed to have one built for me and handed over by the end of this month.  (Yeah, I'm holding my breath for that one...)  In the mean time, I've started te saving process over again.

No Computer, No Fun, No Rest
Third, school is almost out for me.  At the end of this week I'll start my new job hunt.  I've still got to work summer school, but I'll be off work by noon, so I'm still good on that front.  I would be working on graphics projects (especially for those I owe layouts and composite images), but without my computer working (and all my Photoshop resources), I'm out of luck for now.  I guess that garden will get weeded after all!

He did what?!
Last, but certainly not least, the ex-hubby neglected to pay some bills that he got custody of via our divorce decree.  I'm being sued by two different companies who want me to pay up.

Anyone want to take bets on whether the ex will pay up on his end?

Yeah, I wouldn't want to take that bet either.

The end is night...
As an addendum to the above entry, I'll give you the lastest of the latest.  School is finally out as of 2:30pm yesterday.  I was dragged to the end of the year company picnic.  I had to actually socialize ::shudders:: with other humans.  The person would not let me leave at the appointed time.  She made me stay because I was "finally loosening up" and "actually cracked a grin" and she was determined to make me enjoy myself one way or another.  *scowls and stomps feet*

Today, I have begged off helping mom work on her "while you've got a few days off before summer school starts why don't we complete the thousand and one things on my to-do list?" list.  I am however going to go and pick up my paycheck, then go directly to the fabric store to pic out something nice for a new Sunday skirt.  I have only the one that still fits *eyes the candy guiltily* and need something else to wear.  Wish me luck.  *eyes the sewing machine dubiously*
saifai: (Default)
I'm in a weird place right now. On the one hand, hubby and I are on the brink of financial disaster. We think we're going to have to file for bankruptcy around February. On the other hand, hubby has submitted his business plan to a local branch of a national brokerage firm for funding. It's getting really good feedback so far from the locals (enough to qualify it...). The national circulars won't go out for it until Thursday. If we get our funding, it could mean a gi-huge-ic increase in our income.

It's just strange. I should be more worried than I am about our bankruptcy, but I'm just not. We've talked to a lawyer, and we're fairly confident we could repair our credit within 6 months or so (only because of what one of the companies we're in debt to has done...). Also, if we get the funding we need, then it wouldn't matter anyway. But that's another story. I'm not sure I'll know what to do with all that money. It'll be kind of a shock for me if it happens.

I don't know. I think I'm confused. I can't decide whether to be happy or upset.
saifai: (Default)
I'm in a weird place right now. On the one hand, hubby and I are on the brink of financial disaster. We think we're going to have to file for bankruptcy around February. On the other hand, hubby has submitted his business plan to a local branch of a national brokerage firm for funding. It's getting really good feedback so far from the locals (enough to qualify it...). The national circulars won't go out for it until Thursday. If we get our funding, it could mean a gi-huge-ic increase in our income.

It's just strange. I should be more worried than I am about our bankruptcy, but I'm just not. We've talked to a lawyer, and we're fairly confident we could repair our credit within 6 months or so (only because of what one of the companies we're in debt to has done...). Also, if we get the funding we need, then it wouldn't matter anyway. But that's another story. I'm not sure I'll know what to do with all that money. It'll be kind of a shock for me if it happens.

I don't know. I think I'm confused. I can't decide whether to be happy or upset.
saifai: (Default)
My husband gave me the link, wanting me to listen to this talk on the Federal Reserve System. Interesting stuff there. A lot of history there behind it, as well as information on how it all works out in reality compared to the goals it presents to the public. The Creature of Jekyll Island. It was found on the Debt Relief Group's website.

I dunno, I mean some of it is far fetched, some of it makes sense. Either way though, it's pretty scary.
saifai: (Default)
My husband gave me the link, wanting me to listen to this talk on the Federal Reserve System. Interesting stuff there. A lot of history there behind it, as well as information on how it all works out in reality compared to the goals it presents to the public. The Creature of Jekyll Island. It was found on the Debt Relief Group's website.

I dunno, I mean some of it is far fetched, some of it makes sense. Either way though, it's pretty scary.

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